If you're like me and you love egg nog, you'll love these videos from Science Friday . Feel safe in knowing that this Christmas the only thing that will make you sick in that egg nog is too much booze (if it's made the right way)
A new study out of Germany found that men who gaze at women's breasts at least once daily could increase their life expectency by up to 5 years. And all this time we thought they were being pervy! My favorite line "she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes". Classy.
So come on ladies, undo that top button...your man's life depends on it.
Every once in a while something will come along that is so creative and cool that I really really wish I had thought of it. This music video, Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie, is definitely one of those things. I'm probably going to download this song now, it's really growing on me.
My hat goes off to the guy that created this music video. This must have taken more hours that I would have had patience for....ever. But, i'm glad he did it. Nice job!
I took this picture of a mural on the subway. I cannot figure out if this is supposed to be a man, or a woman. Either way, it is very creepy. Please weigh in.
Absolutely nothing, except for both being the muse of artist Dan Lacey. Check out these websites to browse his magical paintings depicting Obama's crisis solving secret weapon, pancakes, and plenty of nudity (yes, I do believe we see both sets of Sarah Palin's lips in the above pic. Gross)
If I lived in a dorm room, I would probably have this one hanging on the wall
Who knew that there was such a gem behind the anchor desk in NYC. You may notice on your facebook news feed this week that a lot of people are posting the blooper by the Fox 5 News Anchor Ernie Anastos, where he tells the weather guy to keep fucking a chicken. It's pretty funny, as you can see below, but it's not the only gaff he's made....
Since fall is my favorite season, and Halloween is my favorite holiday (behind Christmas and Thanksgiving) I wanted to help get everyone in the spirit of the season with these Zombie videos!
Enjoy!
Excellent parody of Zombie Kid
The Japanese are so mean! However, it does make for some good tv.
Not exactly. But by all means, judge for yourself....
Here he is on Jimmy Kimmel
(I actually like this one! well, maybe like is too strong of a word...it is very entertaining)
OMG, I can't stop. He has a ton of videos on You Tube. Watch them when you come home from a night of drinking instead of posting inappropriate things on your friend's facebook walls. You'll thank me in the morning.
Slow news day Fox News? Did you run out of stories to scare and mislead the American public, so you had arts and crafts time?
This is one of the funniest news broadcasts I have seen in a long time. I'm still laughing as I type this! I think that whoever produced this must have been on drugs. I mean, who comes up with a squirrel puppet saying "I'm good. I'm faster than a bear", other than someone completely stoned, or Marisa Rindone?
So, apparently cats are downloading kiddie porn. Perhaps he meant to type "kittie" porn...still underage though, so not really a good excuse. Of course that makes much more sense than its owner being a disgusting dirtbag.
I certainly did not. I always thought that the amazing "Fuck You. I'm An Anteater" picture (seen below) was a fluke. But it looks as though I was wrong.
I already have this blog linked as one of my favorites, but I was just so grossed out by this recent post that I have to make sure to direct you all to it.
Today is Chanel's 21st Birthday (120 in dog years). She officially became the world's oldest dog last September when Bella, a labrador, died of a heart attack at the age of 29 (203 in dog years). She will be celebrating her birthday at the New York Dog Spa and Hotel.
The only thing she is missing is a gold beaded chain for her glasses. *hint hint*(gift idea!)
After extensive research (and stealing other people's pictures from facebook)I have finally uncovered patient zero of this swine flu pandemic. I will be alerting the CDC immediately so that an adequate vaccine can be produced, and Joe Biden and his family can safely ride the subaway again.
So, some doctors in Russia say that this dude has a tree growing in his lungs. They claim that he inhaled a seed, the thing germinated and started to grow in his lungs. The picture shows that it is a little green sapling. Yeah Right!
Let's go over some basic ecology:
Have any of you ever had white asparagus? Do any of you know why it is white? It's because it is grown in the dark. Guess what, plants are green because they need sunlight to produce chlorophyl (which is what makes them green). Guess what isn't inside your lungs. Sunlight. And that's after it has broken out of the ground, I'm not even going to get into the water and nutrients that it needs to germinate.
Give me a break Russian "Doctors". If you guys are correct and not just trying to get in the news then we need to warn the world that M. Night Shyamalan is right. Plants have evolved and are trying to kill us off.
As my rommate, Jenni, and I were sitting out in our backyard during the first beautiful day of the season, we noticed this gem sitting under a tree. Who needs this much cheese!?
Have any of you ever seen a commercial that made you NOT buy the product? I have. I absolutely HATE this Dannon Yogurt commercial. It actually makes me want to punch this girl. I mean, hello, she's stealing! The sound is gross and the way she touches her mouth at the end just really gets to me. And please, her face would be dripping with yogurt! I used to buy this yogurt all the time, and this commercial has actually made me not want to buy it.
Is this too strong of a response to a commercial? I can't wait until I don't watch daytime tv anymore.
For those of you who watch The Soup you probably saw them talking about Isabella Rossellini's project, Green Porn. It is a series of very short films talking about how animals and bugs have sex. It really makes you pause and think to yourself....am I awake?
Go here to watch all 10 episodes. I particularly like Whales and Snails.
Also fun, click on the link to get your green porno name. You can call me Carolina Sphinx.
You may ask yourself, what kind of gift can I possibly give in a blog for these Holy of Holy holidays? This gift is, I'd say, greater even than an easter basket full of peeps and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs!
I give you the gift of guilt free sex and masturbation! (very handy especially if you are Catholic or Jewish)
WHAT?! you say? How can I possibly do this? Well, as I was watching a documentary on the History Channel about the bible, I did some research and I came across this amazing/hilarious website. It gives arguments using bible quotes about why masturbation, anal sex and even fisting (what?!) is sanctioned, even encouraged by God himself.
So if any of you out there have a vibrator still in the package that you got in a bridal shower goody bag, feel free to break it out and give it a go, completely sin free. Just don't forget to "say a prayer of gratitude, thanking the Lord for our bodies, for sexual pleasure, and for masturbation as a means of experiencing the bliss of orgasm"
Fear not my Kosher friends. You too can join in a little lick-shoot-and-suck with your Mexican buddies (and others wanting an excuse to drink tequila on a sunday afternoon) this Cinco De Mayo with this brand new KOSHER TEQUILA!
So, here is the story as I understand it. (this may be inaccurate because i don't actually know the guys who made this video):
Some dudes decide to take acid and see how hilarious they are. They left one dude in a room by himself, pressed record and let the hilarity ensue. Here is that audio as represented by an animated lizard.
p.s. Liam Lynch was one of the creators of The Sifl and Olly Show, that's why this is so hilarious.
It turns out that poor little new Dad Alfie, is NOT the Baby Daddy afterall!
Scandal hit news rags across the pond today when it was revealed that DNA tests showed a negative result. Apparently, the little 15 year old Mom slutted it up all over the place, sleeping with a reported half a dozen boys at school (not at the same time I hope...gross, sorry). It isn't really that surprising though, considering that the girl's own mother was the one with the idea to tell Alfie that she was still a virgin, and always faithful to him. That's a class act family, huh?
At this point, I'm not even sure if Alfie even had sex with her, or if he even knows what it is.
Since I watch alot of daytime tv, I saw a commercial for one of the most confusing things I have seen in a long time: Disney Farm Fresh Eggs. WTF?! I don't get it. They are regular eggs with little disney stamps on them. I tried to find out how much they cost, but I couldn't find anything online. I'm going to look for them in grocery stores, because my guess is that there is a hefty mark up for the tarded little rubber stamp.
Here is a tip. If you need to get Disney eggs to get your kids to eat, why not buy a rubber stamp for two bucks and stamp your own damn eggs.
The commercial shows the egg in a perfect mickey head shape. Yeah right. First, I doubt that the mould comes with the eggs, and second I doubt that it works. Stupid ploy, but again, why not just buy your own cookie cutter or mould. There is no need to spend the money on this crap.
This is the dumbest product I've ever seen. Disney Farm Fresh Eggs: FAIL.
Apparently MickyD's has summoned the spirit of Quiznos Creature style humor and decided that their Filet-O-Fish is their most hilarious sandwich. Needless to say, I love it.
Sad news. My application to the "Best Job In The World" was rejected. Apparently, even though it was timed precisely to be a few frames below :60, they claim that the runtime was 1:01. One second over the time limit. WTF!!
I know that this is a bunch of crap, and I'm not alone. They actually have a press release stating that there are a large number of people in my same situation. Everyone that was rejected did have the opportunity to edit it down and resubmit it, however I was informed that my application was rejected about 5 hours after the deadline. So I couldn't resubmit.
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